Tuface and Annie's touching vows to each other...

I've always been fascinated by marriage vows and all the promise it holds, I always ask myself if i would want to write my own vows or go with the generic "to love and hold, for better or worse..." vows, I guess I will cross that bridge when i get there. last Saturday, the Idibias took their vows in front of friends and family and itwas wonderful. here is what they had to say;

Good Girls go to Heaven...

Have you ever considered the saying “good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere”?  I came across this picture again after a long while and I was struck by how true this saying is.

By the standard of men, a “good girl” is one who goes to church regularly, is never seen with men, rarely wears make-up, dresses like a nun, never parties and is generally found at home when she’s not in church; while a “bad girl” is one who likes to have the occasional fun, have men visit her at home, parties and is generally more outgoing and fun loving.

Is it really a Man's world when it comes to cheating?

I went to a store to buy a DVD yesterday, and I stepped into a heated conversation amongst all the men there. Topic of discussion; what they would do if they ever caught their wives cheating. Some who weren’t so passionate about the topic said they would simply tell her to pack up and leave the house, or they would let her be, but make her life a living hell, while others who were so passionate that they were almost frothing from the mouth said they would strip her naked on the street and give her the beating of her life or even kill her and blah blah blah…

 I was the only woman there so I dared to ask if the same punishment should be meted out to the men

A father raping his daughter

For the past two weeks, we’ve had repeated cases of infant rape all over the internet and most unfortunately from the fathers of these little angels. Isn’t it so sad that the people who are supposed to protect these kids from the dangerous world out there are the very same people who perpetrate these barbaric and dastardly acts?

This is what PUNCH had to say about the most recent one;

Celebrating Love...

I attended a Yoruba traditional marriage ceremony yesterday, and it was my first time. The contrast between the Ibo ceremony – which I am used to – and the Yoruba ceremony could not be over stated. They are both beautiful in their own ways, I really love the way the groom was made to “do-bale” before his prospective in-laws to show his humility, then he was made to produce one of every Nigerian naira denomination to show that he was financially capable of taking care of his wife.

 The part I loved the most though was the reading of the application letter written by the groom to the bride’s parent. In it, he stated his intention to marry their daughter and solemnly promised to take care of her if given the opportunity to marry her, it was really beautiful and enlightening, i wonder how many other unique practices we have in Nigeria. here are some of the pictures;

the application letter

the lovely couple

the lovely me

yeah, i was part of the brides maid. I m getting really tired of being a bridesmaid sef, i wonder when i will be a bride!

Mens's Relationship with Women.

This kind of relationship is one that requires extra caution if we must get it right.  A good number of Nigerian men don’t value relationships.  To our men, it’s all about how much you have in your pocket.  However, I don’t really blame you because my fellow ladies have made you believe there is no relationship without a fat bank account.

Men now believe a girl can be treated anyhow and be pacified later by a fat cheque, exotic ride, and holiday to the Caribbean.  Maybe it has been working for you simply because you have always met the greedy ones.  However, a time will come when you will fall head-over-heels in love with a girl only to have her walk out of your life.  Then you will come to agree with me that there are dos and don’ts in every relationship.

So many relationships in Nigeria are in trouble because our dear men have refused to see women as partners.  To them, she is just another piece of furniture and should be treated as one. Men still believe a woman should be seen and not heard.  I still wonder when I see men beat their wives and girlfriends.  This has led to the breakup of so many relationships, as the lady would rather live outside the relationship than die in the relationship.

Being a Baby Mama...

A couple of days ago, Liza Morales, ex-girlfriend and baby-mama to Lamar Odom wrote an open letter to him, and it reads:

 ‘I don’t think I’ll forget the tight knot I felt in the pit of my stomach the morning I received the text message with three simple words on the screen. It read 'I’m getting married’ and it was from the man I’d spent more than 10 years of my life with.
‘Years that included us getting engaged in 2000 and becoming parents to one daughter and two sons. Yet not long after our separation Lamar Odom was getting married to Khloe Kardashian, a woman he’d met four weeks before.’
‘How could the man who’d constantly given me reason after reason for why we couldn’t get married just yet now be ready to tie the knot so quickly? There aren’t words to explain how I felt that day.’

Wow! That's life! See more after the cut...

Dear God...

I feel like hell right now, I feel invincible, I feel terrible, I feel… sad, really sad and angry at God.  I wish I wasn’t in church right now so that I could cry.  I feel the tears shimmering on my lids. God why me?  Why? 

I can’t even put to words the exact way I feel...  Empty perhaps?  Yes empty.  I feel like I am just living aimlessly.  Why do I feel this way when I am in your presence?  I should be happy…I should feel loved...  I should feel wrapped in the comfort of your presence around me… but I don’t.

Are You Commitment Phobic? 2

 You should always know when you make a commitment, that sooner or later you would meet someone more beautiful or handsome, richer and even more intelligent than your spouse, ask yourself if you can admire them for whatever they come with and still feel you have the best deal, if your answer is no, then you probably should not commit because you are not ready.  If your reason for commitment is based solely on your spouse’s physical attributes, then I am afraid to say, you’ve not quite gotten there yet.

Making a commitment should be a personal decision, it should not be taken for you by another person, it should not be influenced by what people think or believe it should not be rushed into and most importantly, it should not be taken out of desperation to get married, which is what happens to a lot of women nowadays.

Compatibility in a relationship should not be forgotten, do you share your spouse’s dreams and visions?  Are you able to co-exist harmoniously with your partner without wanting to strangle them in their sleep?  Are you willing to overlook or learn to live with their eccentricities without it becoming a major issue?

These are just a few questions to ponder on before you ask anyone that question, or say yes to it.  Tomorrow, we will look at a commitment quiz to help you know how ready you are for commitment.

Are you Commitment Phobic?

Deciding to commit to a relationship is a really huge step.  What if you commit to one person and then somewhere along the road you find someone who you think you love better?  What if you commit to one person too fast and loose the chance of ever meeting the right person?  What if you were to meet someone richer, more handsome or more beautiful than your partner?

I’ve heard people say “we got married too fast and I think I’ve met someone who I feel a connection with” and the question I usually ask is this; were you forced to get married?  We get to make our choices in life, and most times have to live with them for the rest of our lives.

Imagine if you were taken to a phone store and told to pick just one, one which you would use for the rest of your life.  Imagine it will be a very difficult choice for a lot of people.  You have to consider the physical beauty, its battery power and longevity, and whole other things.  Some people may have no interest whatsoever in the physical attributes of the phone, but are more interested in the intrinsic qualities of the phone.

Now for someone like me, I would probably think of better phones that will come up sometime in the nearest future and how I will not be able to return my old phone or trade it in for a better one and this will make my decision making all the more harder.  However, at some point we will have to make that decision knowing that after choosing one, you might turn around and find one more beautiful, but being able to look away from that with a smile means you are on your way to being able to make that commitment.  Blessed and happy are those who will choose one for its inmost qualities and capabilities rather than its outward beauty.

It’s almost the same as making a commitment in a relationship.  You are probably wondering if you won’t one day regret your decision, but here’s the thing, no matter how long it takes for you to make up your mind, you will eventually commit to one person.  What is most important is that you make the right decision and for the right reasons, not because of the person’s physical or financial strength, but because of his/her inner beauty and strength

To be continued…