Thursday, March 7, 2013

Being a Baby Mama...

A couple of days ago, Liza Morales, ex-girlfriend and baby-mama to Lamar Odom wrote an open letter to him, and it reads:

 ‘I don’t think I’ll forget the tight knot I felt in the pit of my stomach the morning I received the text message with three simple words on the screen. It read 'I’m getting married’ and it was from the man I’d spent more than 10 years of my life with.
‘Years that included us getting engaged in 2000 and becoming parents to one daughter and two sons. Yet not long after our separation Lamar Odom was getting married to Khloe Kardashian, a woman he’d met four weeks before.’
‘How could the man who’d constantly given me reason after reason for why we couldn’t get married just yet now be ready to tie the knot so quickly? There aren’t words to explain how I felt that day.’

Wow! That's life! See more after the cut...

 I met Lamar in the 9th grade in Queens, New York, and was completely taken in by his wit, charm, and that devastating smile he so easily flashed at anyone he met. We dated from the 11th grade on and shared a tight bond due to a lot of things, including the fact that we both were products of broken homes.
Though my parents weren’t together, I did have a very close relationship with my father, whom I loved dearly and consider my hero. He worked very hard to make sure I could attend Catholic school and have everything I needed. But when I started dating Lamar that all changed. My father is Puerto Rican and he didn’t approve of me dating a black man. His small mind and small thinking ended the relationship with my dad. I wanted a life with Lamar and needed my family to support that. The next 10 years would be an amazing journey filled with many ups and down but Lamar and I were creating the family we’d both always dreamed of. Or so I thought.
We talked about marriage a lot during those days but Lamar would always tell me that NBA marriages never lasted. He’d point to Shaquille O’Neal’s marriage ending or Dwayne Wade’s marriage ending as examples of why we should wait until he retired to tie the knot. He told me he wanted to leave the game early and then the timing would be perfect for us. I listened to the many reasons why we weren’t married yet and believed them, knowing deep inside something wasn’t right. And then I slowly morphed into the girl I promised myself I’d never become, the girl who stayed long after she knew she shouldn’t. Truth is, I wanted that fairy tale so badly that I couldn’t bear to walk away from that life or take my children away from the comfort and security of a two-parent home.
 I struggled to deal with all the groupies around him and with whatever else that was going on and just stayed put. My denial came to an abrupt end in 2006 after the death of Jayden. Lamar and I never really talked about our loss, which I know wasn’t healthy and also meant our relationship would never last. It couldn’t. I found out soon after that he’d had a long-term relationship with another woman—a relationship he said he’d end but he didn’t—and that was that… "

Go HERE to read the full letter.

 wow! I can’t even begin to imagine what she must have had to go through being a baby mama for ten years and to be jilted after that. As sad as it is though it is gradually becoming a trend in our society to have babies out of wedlock, and this is common with our so called celebrities. I don’t know whether the guys should be blamed, or the women who have agreed to become baby mamas in the hope of tying their men down or getting a ring. Unfortunately for a lot of women, the relationship ends up going south and they are left with no one but themselves to blame.

 It has obviously worked for people like Annie Macauley who will soon become Mrs. Idibia and maybe a couple of other people, but gone are the days when men married women because they got pregnant for them. Talking about this at work, a colleague of mine said any woman who got pregnant for him outside of wedlock was strictly on her own because he would not be bullied or forced into marriage.
personally, i feel its a trend that should stop. its not in line with our customs as Africans and it does not always say well of the women involved.

What are your thoughts?