6 Habits You Should Learn and Develop Before You Get Married

Marriage is a very big step for any couple. Just like any serious undertaking, you must prepare for marriage before you go into it. Below are a few attributes that you must have if you’re to succeed in marriage:



   Patience

One of the key qualities that every partner in a marriage must have is patience. No two human beings can have a productive relationship without disagreements. It will not always be rosy and your patience with each other will keep you from hurting each other and going to the extreme when you’re angry. Also, children are bound to rub you the wrong way so you have to prepare yourself for provocation and figure out how to handle it when it comes.

What did our parents hide from us?

I am at a wedding right now and the priest is giving a heart-warming sermon about love and how beautiful and lovely love is and blah blah blah…

The bride looks radiant, the groom looks…well let’s just say he looks like a groom who has spent a lot of money.

As the very handsome and sexy looking priest drones on and on about marriage, I am thinking of my friend Eka who just moved out of her husband’s house two days ago.

Barely a year and a half ago, we were all gathered like this to celebrate them and their lovely love, we listened to an equally moving homily about patience in marriage and all the works, she had the same look this bride has on her face right now – rapturous joy and love – I remember how she wept happily while taking her vows and how he looked at her with eyes full of love while taking his.

Today, she has moved back home to her parents, after 18 months of marriage.  She entered it looking very beautiful and when she left, she looked like “onye akuru ihe tinker kuru pan” – like she was handled by a panel beater!  Why?  I’ll leave her story for another day.

Having come from what is known these days as a very dysfunctional family, I am not really in a hurry to get married, but I know I will have to cross that hurdle eventually. 

The thing is, these days; a lot of marriages are failing very fast and there are so many horrible stories told by married women that makes my skin crawl (not that it will stop me from getting married sha), and one begins to wonder how our parents –okay, not my parents- marriages worked.  What is that secret that they are not passing on to the younger generation? is there a secret ingredient that we are missing? Are they not telling us sometime?  Are they really as happy as they appear to be?  On the other hand, could it be that something is seriously wrong with our generation?

 

Mens's Relationship with Women.

This kind of relationship is one that requires extra caution if we must get it right.  A good number of Nigerian men don’t value relationships.  To our men, it’s all about how much you have in your pocket.  However, I don’t really blame you because my fellow ladies have made you believe there is no relationship without a fat bank account.

Men now believe a girl can be treated anyhow and be pacified later by a fat cheque, exotic ride, and holiday to the Caribbean.  Maybe it has been working for you simply because you have always met the greedy ones.  However, a time will come when you will fall head-over-heels in love with a girl only to have her walk out of your life.  Then you will come to agree with me that there are dos and don’ts in every relationship.

So many relationships in Nigeria are in trouble because our dear men have refused to see women as partners.  To them, she is just another piece of furniture and should be treated as one. Men still believe a woman should be seen and not heard.  I still wonder when I see men beat their wives and girlfriends.  This has led to the breakup of so many relationships, as the lady would rather live outside the relationship than die in the relationship.