Sunday, September 16, 2012

saturday


Well, today has come and gone.  All Thanks be to God.  It was another lovely and idle day for me.  Idle not because I had nothing to do, but idle because I wasn’t allowed to do anything.  Yesterday, I said I had to invigilate an examination, but I wouldn’t really call it invigilation as such, since there really wasn’t much to invigilate.  Immediately the students were given their question papers, they were given the answers along with it all solved for them; all they had to do was pay 1000 naira each.  Can you imagine that?  the moral decadence of our generation! So all I did basically was sit and watch them cheat. 
Well, in my idle state, I decided to find a way of keeping myself busy and I came up with the idea of “baptizing” my blog.  It sounded so plain and just there, and I decided to make it a little more interesting, hence the name “musings of an esoteric woman” I actually thought of “musings of an abysmal esoteric”, I like the way it sounds.  It makes me sound really intelligent -which I am by the way- but I settled for the former.  What do you think?

Meanwhile, please dont forget to vote for me . just go to http://nigerianblogawards.com/register.php and type www.chukwuonyinye.blogspot.com on numbers14,17 and 20
Thanks.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Today



Hello my country people o, I've been In such a good mood today. I don't know why, I guess its because there's no work tomorrow. Backpack

Anyway,i had a boring day at work today, I actually slept all through today,i just arranged a couple of seats together and my handbag served as my pillow. Its not because am lazy sha,its just that school is yet to resume so the students are still at home enjoying themselves,but my wicked boss insists we come to school everyday and just admire each other,and when its 1'o clock,we go home.

After school, I went to my tailors' to collect my clothes,and I felt like a kid receiving his Christmas gift. I've not sewn a dress in about 3 years, so I was pretty much excited about this one,I know its nothing to be excited about,but like I said I've been in a good mood today and more-so, its been a while since I had a new dress. That's the dress there, I know it doesn't look so beautiful from here, but it is, and it fits perfectly. Did I tell you it cost me an arm and a leg? yeah it did, tailors are so expensive these days eh,or maybe its because I've not been to one in a while

I am off to bed,i will have a busy day tomorrow, I am invigilating the on going GCE exams,and they havemaths tomorrow. its going to be a busy day for me.

Have a lovely night.Na-na-na-na

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Nigerian Blog Awards 2012: Pls, ejoor, biko, abeg… Nominate chukwu onyinye's blog for an award with naija blog awards” ooohh

nblogawards2012
Its time for the Nigerian Blog Awards 2012 and nominations are now open.
Naijatreks aspires to win in the “Best New blog,best personal blog” and “Best relationship blog” categories.
Please, ejoor, biko, abeg… kindly nominate Naijatreks for these two categories oooh.
It’s easy..
- Fill your name and email into the text boxes provided
- Scroll down to options 14,17 and 28 and fill ‘www.chukwuonyinye.blogspot.com’ into text boxes provided.
- Click Submit
- Finally, a confirmation email will then be send to your box. You have to open this mail and click the provided link to confirm you are the one placing the vote.

please it ends on the 23rd of Sept, so hurry!

Thanks in advance oooo.
Your vote counts!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012



I got this from a Bella naija post. Enjoy.
I am not sure if this is just my way of ranting or if I will get any valuable advice but I really pray that I get some good advice because I have reached my breaking point.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Should I stay or run?

“I´m dating a Nigerian guy, but I don´t know if he is Igbo or Yoruba. The thing is, he is extremely romantic, sweet, likes to cook, clean, etc. but he gets angry for small things. He has to have the last word for everything... Including my hair color and style, the nail´s color, clothes, friends, etc... He controls everything... Common! He is very religious and smart but the last thing he did was he showed me a picture of the wedding dress he wants me to wear... I´m confused because he is a mix of romance and control at the same time, but he respects me and pampers me too much.. SHOULD I RUN AWAY OR STAY??”

 This is a mail that was sent to Myne Whitman on her blog romance meets life. There were quite a number of comments, people telling her to be careful and generally giving their own piece of advice. There were also a couple of comments which I totally do not agree with, but we will get there later. I have a couple of issues with her mail that I would like to discuss before we get to the main question. Firstly, “you don’t know if he is Igbo or Yoruba”? Seriously! Then what do you know about him? These are the basics of friendship, not to even talk about a relationship, it’s like saying you don’t know his name or where he lives! Its one of two things; its either you are not committed enough to even bother about the little details of his life, or he is hiding something from you, which is a sign of trouble or better still, you are both in it for the wrong reasons, which means your foundation is shaky, you gotta fix that first before any other thing.

 Now to the main issue; ‘should you stay or away’? I would say RUN! Most people in their comments said it was all up to her to decide, but that isn’t advice as far as I am concerned, if she knew what to do, I don’t think she would have asked for advice, so I am adding my own little advice for what it’s worth: FLEE AWAY FROM HIM AS FAR AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU! From your description, he sounds like a control freak and you know what happens when they don’t get their way, they get physical really violent. Some people, as seen in the 2 comments below see nothing wrong in it.

“i don't see any problem here or in ur relationship, are u not happy with him, the man is always in control, i mean he is the head pls go ahead & enjoy ur respect & pamper as for the anger that is his shortcoming, if he is managing urs knowing fully well that u re not perfect then manage his also, for me from what u describe him to be, he is the boo.so relax ur nerves & enjoy him.”

and

“i want u to know that it is love that is making him to control u in that way and why u re still seeing the whole thing the way u re seeing it is because u have not calm down and ur mind is not settled yet, pls all u need to do is just to be submissive and relax. he is inlove and when real men are inlove the are always incontrol and incharge, he is even better than those ones that will pretend and marry 2moro u will start seeing a different person entirely for me he is okay, stop those little things that makes him angry and also work on urself too.the next person will definitely not be the best,what u have is better than what u re dreaming of, for me pls stay where u re he is okay.”

 After all, he is the man and so should be in charge, which I think is true, but there has to be a balance, there has to be room for compromise, a middle ground. It’s obvious she has no say in this relationship and her voice doesn’t count. I did a piece on compromising in relationships, find it HERE. One has to know where to draw the line and say enough is enough and in this case, enough is indeed enough. Does she even have a say in what kind of food she eats or does he still decide that for her? As women, we sometimes appreciate a certain amount of authority and assertiveness in a man, I don’t know the rationale behind that, but I occasionally find it sexy and appealing, but like I said, OCCASIONAL, not when it becomes demeaning and suffocating. “He even picks her friends”, jeez! That’s just the height of it.

 My dear girl, there is nothing to be confused about, I get that you enjoy being pampered, but be careful lest you be pampered and choked to death. BTW, I refuse to believe that he respects you, because if he did, he wouldn’t treat you this way, he wouldn’t run your life, he would seek and value your opinions, he would respect your choices and give u a little breathing space and most importantly, he will let you pick your own freaking wedding dress!!!

Nevertheless, before I crucify the guy, I would like to know one thing, because she dint say anything about it in her mail: have you discussed this with him? Does he know how you feel? Do you make him feel like you are enjoying it all? If you are yet to discuss these with him, then please do so before taking any decisions. However, if you have discussed this with him and he sees no problem, then my dear, I would advise you to eh… take the nearest keke napep and run for dearest life.

I rest my case.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Your Handwriting And You

I was writing a piece recently, and a colleague wanted to look at it. when i gave it to him, i realized he could barely read what i wrote, my handwriting is really terrible and embarrassing and its barely intelligible. like,it twists in funny ways and goes in different directions. I decided to see what the science people had to say about me and my handwriting so I took a little test.here's my result;

 1."You are sometimes a very energetic person, but you are sometimes quite lethargic. You're moody, prone to ups and downs, and you don't have a lot of endurance.

 2.You range from very outgoing to very shy. You are a shape shifter who is very versatile. You adapt well, and you look at things from many angles.

3.You are very detail oriented and meticulous. You are a careful thinker and a true intellectual.

 4.You need a lot of space in your life, and it's easy for you to feel stifled. You avoid commitment and responsibility whenever you can.

5.You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart.

6.You are a poor communicator. No one really knows exactly what you're getting at."

 I don't think all of it is true sha, although a lot of it is on point. here's a little article i saw on how to know what your handwriting says about you. check and see how true it is;

 1. SIZE Small handwriting- research-oriented, good concentration, methodical, not always social Large handwriting- people oriented, outgoing, outspoken, love to entertain and interlock Right in the middle- you like to be with people, but value your own time

 2. SPACING Good deal of space- you need your freedom, to do things in your own time, don't like to be overwhelmed or crowed. Very little space- it shows a tremendous about of irritability and constant pressure on yourself

3. HOW LETTERS ARE SHAPED Rounded letters- indicates creativity, artistic abilities (writing, painting, acting, etc.) Pointed letters- shows you are more aggressive, intense, very intelligent, curious Connected letters- you are logical, systematic, make decisions carefully

4. LOOPING Loopy handwriting- very social individual, huge imagination, sensitive to criticism Not loopy- more isolated, reclusive, within themselves

5. DOTTING YOUR I's Right over the I- attention to detail, organization, emphatic in what you say or do High over the I- shows great imagination To the left- procrastinator Circle your I's- visionary, child like Slashing it- overly self-critical, don't have a lot of patience for inadequacy or people that don't learn from their mistakes, irritation

 6. CROSSING YOUR T's Right in the middle- you are personally safe Short crosses- shows a lack of determination Long crosses- great determination and enthusiasm, can be stubborn Very top of T- you're an idealist, ambition, good self-esteem Cross downward at the top- you dominate your environment, authoritative nature

7. O's Open- you are talkative, social, able to express your feelings, have little secrecy Closed- you are very personal, limited sharing of your personal feelings, introvert

8. LEAD IN'S OR EXCESS FLOURISHES Lead in's (or excess flourishes) - shows family orientation is important to you Lack of lead in's (or excess flourishes)- you tackle problems in a direct, practical way, unhampered by sentimentality

 9. MARGINS Writing all over the page- you can't relax, constantly thinking Left hand margin- you live in the past Right hand margin- you are always looking towards the future

 10. PRESSURE Tremendous pressure- very intense, may have some evil qualities, aggressive, blow up easily Average or light pressure- laid back, go with the flow

 11. DOODLES Boxes- you need structure, stability and order Flowers- idealistic, romantic, creative Triangles- perfectionist, structured, people that feel stuck- don't risk easily Circles- dreamer, creative, takes thinks personally, visionary Smiley faces- illusionary, wanting life to be beautiful, optimistic Color inside the box or shape- you are very intense, serious, worrier, can suggest sign of temper because of tension or frustration

12. PUNCTUATION MARKS Lots of exclamation marks- ego is involved, you want to be understood, passionate

13. SLANT If you write upward- you tend to be optimist, hopeful, honest, ambitious, motivated If you write downward- you tend to be negative, slightly depressed, dishonest

 14. SPEED If you write things quickly- you are impatient, dislike delays or time wasters If you write slowly- more organized, more methodical, more self reliant

15. SIGNATURE (this is your public self image!) Legible- shows integrity, confidence, leadership, open to show your true self Not legible- very private person, hard to read or understand.

 like i said earlier,i don't totally buy it, although they are sometimes accurate.

Monday, August 27, 2012

21 unbelievable things women will do to get married…

I was going through one of my favourite blogs ‘memoirs of a woman with chutzpah’ and I came across this very interesting article that I felt I should share with you. enjoy.

 Tired of waiting for your dream man? Tired of changing boyfriends like underwear? Tired of begging God to upgrade you? Tired of waiting for your boyfriend to propose? Tired of all the heartbreaks and betrayal? Tired of men chopping you for free? Tire no more… Statistics show that only 3% of single women of marriageable age in Nigeria are undisturbed by their lack of a spouse! The other 97% would do just about anything to become Mrs somebody. And when I say anything, I mean it… Here are the 21 rather unorthodox things ‘classy’ Nigerian women have done in their quest to bag a husband! Some are bizzare, some are skanky and some are downright sad…but if you’re willing to try anything and getting a husband is the only activity left on your bucket list, you might wanna try a few! (Men beware) #Not for the fainthearted… In no particular order:

1. Snatching a friend or relation’s man. All is fair in love and war! Rumour has it that women have resorted to locking their phones, hiding their men and coding their gist from so-called friends cos it’s a jungle out there…

 2. Re-inventing themselves. Pretence is the order of the day. No man wants to tame the shrew or teach the inexperienced or make an honest woman out of a dishonest one so once marriage is desired, women package themselves in pseudo, ready-made, easy-to-use, highly desirable packages. After marriage, what you see is what you get! #stepfordwifemode

 3. Trapping him with pregnancy. This used to be the old school method of getting a man to propose. From skipping the pill to seducing the man or getting him drunk when she was ovulating, a woman usually knew she had the man where she wanted him once she missed her period even if there was no commitment. Now the guys are saying YES to baby mamas and YES to child support. Are the girls deterred? NO! The girls have stepped up their game by involving the parents and you know parents don’t like scandals…

 4. Praying&Fasting. This would presumably be an honourable means of obtaining a husband but sometimes the prayers are offered up to deities other than God& other times it becomes a song permanently on repeat…

5. Taking his photograph to Cele church for a prophetess to pray over or a powerful Alfa. Heard it works like a charm…

6. Taking his sperm, hair or personal effects to Baba. Guys disposing of your condoms yourself is not such a bad idea…

 7. Outright Jazz! My friend S recently gisted me ’bout how a tied up, live pigeon had been discovered in a friend’s sister-in-law’s box. The woman confessed to using jazz and said she hadn’t been sure if the guy would actually propose so she took the necessary precaution…

8. Putting love potion in his food! This is classic and timeless but shouldn’t it be called a ‘compelling’ potion? Because in this case, love na by force!

 9. Saying YES to a man you despise! A woman has two classes of men usually on her case. The ‘correct’ guys and the ‘disgos’. The disgos usually end up as magas or rebounds but many a woman has shocked a despondent toaster with a sudden ‘Yes’ and men have agreed that truly there is nothing God cannot do!

10. Proposing to a guy! Yes it does happen… (Who wears the engagement ring?)

 11. Toasting a man’s family so they make the decision for him! A friend complained that a girl he detested had over the months gotten close to his family. Lavishing on them, cooking for them and basically being their ‘go-to’ girl and now his mum had put her foot down that he had to break up with his girlfriend and marry little-miss-went-home-to-mama depending on how much power the family wields, their word may be final…

12. Asking daddy to get you a husband! If daddy’s a big shot, arranging a husband for you is usually as easy as pie and some men would sell their souls for a large chunk of daddy’s money so both parties are happy…

13. Being your man’s maga! Some women believe that when you finally get a man to be interested in you, spoiling him and overlooking his every fault would get you into a white gown faster than an okada chased by LASTMA! Some men don’t mind a woman who houses them, clothes them, feeds them, gives ‘em pocket money, never gets upset with them even when they misbehave and cleans up after them with little or no contribution from them… Living the dream???

14. Giving him unlimited freedom as long as he proposes. “Tell me I’m number one baby, tell me I’m the future mother of your kids and not Amina, Bisi or Ngozi!” Women used to wanna be the one AND ONLY in their man’s life, now being the number one is good enough…

15. Polishing up a low class, barely educated brother in exchange for a ring! The deal is simple, you send your cleaner, gateman or driver to night school, you give him language lessons, you take him to buy some new clothes and deodorant and teach him to call you honey instead of madam and in exchange, he gets to marry you, share an expensive bedroom and never worry about his bills ever again!

16. Revamping yourself. Change your ward-robe, lose 20kg, buy a truckload of brazilian hair, study the karma-sutra, do a vaginoplasty and change the age on your birth-certificate to read 22. Botox, plastic surgery, a compulsory gym membership and ‘body magic’ also indicated!

 17. Becoming a worker in church! Rumour has it that men go to church to marry, the same rumour also reveals that ‘Greeters’, ‘Ushers’ and ‘Lead Soloists’ have the best exposure…praise the Lord!

 18. Moving to a new town or part of town so that you are the ‘new girl’. This always peaks the men’s interest and at the same time you get to run away from your past and the ‘old maid’ labels! Combine this with number 16 above and ooh la la!

19. Going for ‘deliverance’ from a spirit husband and sowing a big ‘marriage’ seed in church! Giving your possessions to the poor, giving a sacrificial offering or just giving one thing to God that would make you weep…

20. Abandoning your hopes, dreams and ambitions! I’ve heard people say that women looking for a prince charming live unrealistic dreams, virgins are old-school, overly educated women are proud, rich women are not submissive, ambitious women are conceited, women with demanding jobs won’t have time for their families, women who want a faithful man are deluded and women who don’t get pregnant before wedlock have something wrong with their plumbing! So forsake the masters, don’t even dream of a PhD, quit your job, give away all your money and surely a husband will come… And if all else fails…

 21. Marry a married man!

 He could be your friend’s husband, your sister’s husband, your cousin’s husband, your colleague’s husband, even your mother’s husband if you like! Can you blame these women? The average guy has commitment phobia or is out to play till he is all spent before he settles down or is waiting to make his first ’5 million’ before saying ‘I do’. Even a man with no future ambition or class, much less finances still knows he could have his pick of the best women out there, once he announces he is looking to settle! The last census showed a female-dominated demographic with more women per eligible bachelor. Family and society constantly put the woman in hot water making her personal successes irrelevant till she bags a man…

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Hmmmmmm


Something happened at work today that got me all riled up.  It was a slow day at work and I was gisting with a colleague who told me something he overheard the guys discussing about me.
Before I start, let me tell you a little about me.  I live alone and somehow I manage to make do with my little income.  I am not dependent on my parents and have not been in a while. Because of this, the guys were wondering how I am able to take care of myself and look so good with my little income, so the general consensus was…SUGAR DADDY!

Can you believe that?  Now it’s not even the fact that they think I have or had sugar daddy that pissed me off, it was the fact that they said no single woman can ever make it alone without a boyfriend or a sugar daddy to augment whatever she earns, it doesn’t matter if its millions, there has to be a man somewhere giving here money.  Really?

Now before I begin to rant, I know a lot of women depend on men for survival, but it doesn’t mean it’s a general rule.  Have I needed the occasional help from friends?  Yes.  Does that mean I can’t survive financially without a man?  HELL NO!  I’ve realized that most guys are threatened by a woman who seem to have it all and they like to put her down, or attribute her success to themselves, but I’d like to think its men who are insecure and lack confidence who think and act that way.

Women can and have been financially independent for a long time now, and the fears and insecurities of men isn’t going to change that.  I really hope for the sake of all that is good, that there aren’t a lot of men who still think this way.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Men and baby mamas.


I am currently reading this book, and it’s about love.  A man meets a woman he had loved for 12 years, but had not seen in 10years.  She did not know she loved him, but realized it after meeting him again 10 years later.  They  re-awaken their love, make love a few times, the woman suddenly remembers she had 4 kids, she cries a little about how they could never be an item because of that, the man pets her and tells her it’s not a problem, he would gladly  look after them because he lovedher so much ,so they get married and live happily ever after.  Seriously!
How I wish life was that simple and uncomplicated, where you meet a guy, and no matter how many kids you might have had or the baggage you carry, he tells you it’s not a problem, he puts a ring on your finger and you live happily ever after.  But unfortunately, Nigerian men do not like complicated. Even after being around for thirty something odd years and sowing their wild oats around, they want to marry a virgin who has never talked to a boy, having a child is out of it sef.  one of my colleagues at work says he can never marry a girl who is “after one”-a girl who has had a child outside  wedlock- no matter how beautiful she was, unless she was extremely rich.
This unfortunately is a very common occurrence here in Nigeria, where a young woman is condemned because she has had a child.  We should take a leaf from our oyibo (American) brothers and stop shying away from young women who have had the misfortune of having kids outside wedlock.  These kids later turn out to be blessings to their parents. 
But on a serious note though, apart from the financial responsibility, why do guys avoid such women?  Personally, I have no problem dating or marrying a guy who has had a child, and I am pretty sure many women have no qualm about it.  So why is it such a big deal to men?
Your thoughts please.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Help Me


God, I want to thank you for my jobs because so many people in this our beloved country are jobless, and it’s a privilege to be amongst the working class citizens.  That said, I will get straight to today’s gist.
This is officially a cry for help.  I NEED A NEW JOB!  Before anyone begins to crucify me for not being grateful for the one I already have, I really am and I thank God daily for it.  But I am so tired of teaching right now.  My job is boring and unimaginative, extremely stressful, the environment isn’t work friendly and on top of that, I am grossly underpaid.  To tell you how bad it is, corps members receive better take-home pay at the end of the month than I do.  Now you see what I mean by “underpaid” abi?  How they expect me to keep looking beautiful and taking care of my sexy self with that pocket change is beyond me.
I know some people will ask what I’ve been doing towards getting a new job, but I can assure you that my CV is everywhere within and beyond the shores of Nigeria.  I’ve applied online, in person and by courier, but the jobs are not coming.  Maybe it’s because I don’t know anyone in those places.
So here’s a description of my dream job: a job where I get to sit in an air conditioned office and sip coffee - no I don’t like coffee, make that tea - all day; get served free lunch in my private office, resume by 9am and close for work by 4pm; not too stressful preferably paper work, so I can have time to play solitaire on my new laptop and most importantly; a huge salary.  It’s a lovely job, right?
Anyway, I am just kidding (no, am snot).  I really need a new job, something worthwhile.  I am really hardworking and a fast learner; I need a job that would give me a boost to in life, a spring-board to achieving my life’s dreams.  I am a graduate of English education from the University of Jos, Nigeria. Therefore, with my qualification, I can fit in anywhere, places like embassies, oil companies, even Fashola’s office, anywhere really.
So there, I said it, and I will be expecting great responses o. Please don’t let me down.  I am keeping my fingers crossed!