Friday, August 10, 2012

Men and baby mamas.


I am currently reading this book, and it’s about love.  A man meets a woman he had loved for 12 years, but had not seen in 10years.  She did not know she loved him, but realized it after meeting him again 10 years later.  They  re-awaken their love, make love a few times, the woman suddenly remembers she had 4 kids, she cries a little about how they could never be an item because of that, the man pets her and tells her it’s not a problem, he would gladly  look after them because he lovedher so much ,so they get married and live happily ever after.  Seriously!
How I wish life was that simple and uncomplicated, where you meet a guy, and no matter how many kids you might have had or the baggage you carry, he tells you it’s not a problem, he puts a ring on your finger and you live happily ever after.  But unfortunately, Nigerian men do not like complicated. Even after being around for thirty something odd years and sowing their wild oats around, they want to marry a virgin who has never talked to a boy, having a child is out of it sef.  one of my colleagues at work says he can never marry a girl who is “after one”-a girl who has had a child outside  wedlock- no matter how beautiful she was, unless she was extremely rich.
This unfortunately is a very common occurrence here in Nigeria, where a young woman is condemned because she has had a child.  We should take a leaf from our oyibo (American) brothers and stop shying away from young women who have had the misfortune of having kids outside wedlock.  These kids later turn out to be blessings to their parents. 
But on a serious note though, apart from the financial responsibility, why do guys avoid such women?  Personally, I have no problem dating or marrying a guy who has had a child, and I am pretty sure many women have no qualm about it.  So why is it such a big deal to men?
Your thoughts please.