Sunday, January 27, 2013

Does the name you call your spouse reallymatter?

I was sitting with my neighbours today when an issue came up.  My neighbor Mathew wanted to address his wife, and he called her “mummy Happy” (happy is the name of their first kid) and she flared up, she said she tired of being referred to as “mummy happy” by her husband.  She says the worst is that he sometimes called her “you dey there” –meaning ‘are you there’- we all laughed, but I could I see how serious she was about it, she said she wanted to be called a pet name or at least her given name, but her husband absolutely refuses to call her any of those ‘ridiculous’ pet names.

In turn, we asked her what she called him and she said she had tried calling him ‘baby’ and he told her he was not a baby and would not be called one, she tried other names like honey, darling and other pet names, even names in their native language and he refused to answer to anyone of those names.  We all had a good laugh from it, but I could see that she was truly hurt because she felt he did not value her, seeing as other people had pet names.

Personally, I like to be called 'baby', not because I am one, but because it has a certain tenderness to it and a protective quality to it, and it makes me feel really loved. I love being called pet names a lot and feel it increases your intimacy level when you have that special name that you and you alone call your spouse, apparently not everyone agrees. I hate being called 'honey', maybe its because I hate honey, its actually a turn-off for me.

Do you think it matters though? let me know your thoughts.