Saturday, July 14, 2012

Why am i still single?

 So today, we are trying to find out why are a lot of ladies still single.  Yes, we are going in straight today.  Are we single because we dream of wanting the perfect guy, one who does not even exist, and we forget to face the realities of life?  On the other hand, is there something wrong with all the brothers out there?

I am still single, and I’ve been told severally that it’s probably because I set my standard too high, and that I need to lower it because it might be affecting me negatively.  However, is there really anything like setting your standard too high?  Should I settle for less because I want to get married quickly?  Is it wrong to want the best?  Believe the answer to that question is a resounding NO.  There’s nothing wrong in wanting the best, but you have to know where to draw the line between watching too many romance flicks and facing the realities of life.

Every woman/man wants someone who will complement them where they are lacking and under no circumstance should any woman compromise this just because she wants to get married; we all know where that will lead to: A DIVORCE.

Now, in searching for our supposed Mr. Right, there are basic things to watch out for: Is he hard working?  Honest?  Focused?  God-fearing?  Respectful?  Does he encourage your dreams?  Is he one who constantly puts you down?  Does he ask for your opinion on things?  Does he carry you along on things?  These are just some of the things one should look out for in a life partner.  Don't get me wrong o, there’s nothing wrong in wanting a handsome ,rich and sexy looking guy, but should those be his only qualities?  Is it enough to marry a person based on their physical attributes?

 A colleague of mine who got married a couple of months ago is currently bemoaning the fact that his wife practically has no idea of what to do with a home.  When I asked him why he married her, he said he was captivated by her beauty, so I told him to stop complaining and enjoy his beautiful wife.  And that's where most of us women get it wrong, we wait so long in the hope that some handsome and extremely rich prince will come and sweep us off our feet, that we wake up one morning and realize that we are 35 and still single, with no clue as to how or why we are still single, if you find yourself in this category, then you really need to re-assess and  re-prioritize your qualities in a man(Onyinye take note, though am not yet 35 sha).secondly, we really should stop looking for MR PERFECT.  He doesn't exist, Mr. perfect is the man i described in my last post, and i don't think any copies of such guys still exist in our world of today, they have all gone into extinction, rather, we should look for someone whose faults we can live with (after all, every man comes with a little fault, not from the manufacturer sha), but whatever you do, don’t settle for less.

Now don't get it twisted, am not saying one should not look for a handsome guy-God knows I pray for one daily-but there should be more beyond his looks.  Most times when you meet a man, you just go "I can’t marry him" or "I will love to marry him".  Why is that?  We are repelled/attracted by what we see, but it shouldn't end there, we should get to know him either ways and that should be the deciding factor, not his looks.  some of us have a checklist or quadrants (as one of my readers said)that we use to score men, but sometimes, we need to go outside our box, from experience sef, I've found out that most good looking guys are poorly behaved, so after a while with them you begin to wonder what you ever saw in them.

learn to look beyond the physical and you will find out that you begin to see people in a whole new light, give that guy a chance and there just might be a ring on your finger soon(Tavia, I see you, give that guy a chance) *winks*.  And as one of my readers said, we should constantly ask ourselves this “are you worthy to be called someone's miss perfect?" that should be food for thought for the ladies"(Yetunde i hear you)

Lastly, don't snub anyone because you feel they have nothing to offer, or there's no connection.  You have got to give it time, open your heart and let fate take its course; I believe that you should find someone you can grow into love, wealth and happiness with instead of finding instant love.