My Weight and I!

     So I am trying real hard to work on my weight, but its having the adverse effect on me. I keep piling it on like butter on bread. I saw this malnourished looking girl (yeah call me jealous) and she was eating or rather wolfing down bars of chocolate, and I hated her instantly! Before I tell you the reason, let me tell you a little about my body.

    It was created on a Friday morning. You see, God had created the required amount of people for the week, and he had to minimize the clay (abi is it dust sef) so that he wouldn’t run short, so on that beautifully glorious and sexy Friday morning when he was about to create me, he realized he had excess clay left so he piled it on me ,hence my sexy, curvaceous and full body. The thing is, he kinda left space for more fat to be added in the course of my life’s journey. Because of this, if I think of food, I add weight. If I see food, I add weight. Now imagine what happens when I actually eat. It’s really annoying because I am the only fat one in my family, my parents and siblings are all slim. So you can see why it’s really annoying to see slim people who never seem to add weight, while I am constantly struggling with mine. You now know why I hated the girl abi?

    Anyways, let’s get serious, my topic today or question is: should people be judged by their weight? I have always been chubby, and I have always been known as “that fat girl” and it’s really annoying, I mean why am I not “that brilliant girl” or “that extremely beautiful girl” (which I am by the way) and I always felt like I was being judged too harshly. I always hated to be reminded of my weight, and it was always a sore topic for me.

   Back in the days, I went through a whole lot just to lose weight; I even cringe right now to think of some of the stupidly insane things I had done in a bid to lose weight and slim to fashion. I always wanted to be a model, so I felt I had to look like I just came out of a Russian concentration camp to be a model, I had to have my bones sticking out left right and centre, every morning I’d wake up and go to the mirror to see if my bones where sticking out more, and rejoice if I thought they were. I ingested some amount of drugs that were supposed to make me “thin”. I had a friend who worked in a pharmacy and supplied me slimming drugs, but I didn’t know they were just placebos and they had no real work, so I happily ingested them.

   Next, I went on a rampage and registered in every gym in Jos, then I got tired after 2 weeks of constant gyming and no visible weight loss. So I joined my friend who was on a starvation diet, she had Lipton for breakfast, a quarter of a pack of indomie for lunch and a glass of wine for dinner. That also dint last because, I mean like seriously? Lipton and wine?? I wasn’t trying to kill myself, so I stopped. I am not even going to talk of the slimming teas!

To be continued...