Sunday, April 29, 2012

The marriage craze


THE MARRIAGE CRAZE
A couple of days ago, a girlfriend of mine called me and said she was getting married. After I heard the good news, I had to pause for a while and look at my life, and I realized my biological clock was ticking away loud and clear. I am older than she is by a couple of years so naturally I was worried – just a little bit though- that I was getting old, but I consoled myself with the fact that I am still young, so there is still time for me, I mean, what’s the hurry right??

After speaking with her and reflecting a little on my life, I decided to call a couple of friends together so we could meet and make arrangement towards the wedding. When we met I saw such forlorn faces that I had to ask if somebody was dead. The general response I got was that they were getting really old, and time wasn’t on their side anymore, yet there was no man in the picture. One of them actually said she was tired of her life. It was a meeting full of lamentation. Funny enough none of these women are up to forty years. These are women who are financially independent and very successful in their various jobs and here they were feeling so miserable about the absence of a man in their lives. One of them actually said she had started asking men out instead of waiting for men to do the asking. At this stage though I had to disagree with her, there is no way I am asking a man out no matter how old I get. You can call me old fashioned or a prude, I still hold on to that opinion.

It got me thinking, what is it about being single that got these beautiful and successful women into feeling so miserable? Is it because we are in a society that frowns at a woman being single once she hits a certain age? Or Is it because some women just can’t help feelling unfulfilled without a man.?

This marriage craze has made so many women go into marriage with their eyes closed. They marry the first person that says hi to them just so that they will join the trend of married women and the end result is always a disaster. Of course they suffer silently because it would be a shame to actually come out and admit there was a problem with their marriages. It has become a kind of game of “who will get married first”.

I have a friend who had that mentality, and she was determined to get married at all cost. In January 2010, her New Year resolution was to get married before the end of the year. At this time, she had no boyfriend, not to talk of a fiancé, but she did not see that as an obstacle, she said she would get pregnant if she had to, just to get married. By December of 2010, there was still no boyfriend in the picture, and she almost committed suicide. She is just 31years old.

A colleague of mine at work said she had so many people asking her when she was getting married, that she was almost tempted to grab the first man she saw on the street and marry him. Just to keep people off her back. Now when asked, she just tells them that she can’t marry herself, so when there is someone to marry her, she will let them know. A friend’s parents actually threatened to disown her if she was not married by the age of 33.
So many women suffer emotionally and psychologically because they are still single at a certain age. Funny enough, i have met women who have no interest in marriage, at least for now, and they are doing very well for themselves.

So the question today is this: should women have to go through so much worry because they are single? Isn’t this marriage thing a little overrated? And most importantly, should women continue to torture themselves just because a man has not realized the extremely priceless jewels that they are?    

8 comments:

  1. Seriously dis marriage craze is sumtin else and its now like a competitn.Av been single for yrs nw and i must say A̶̲̥̅♏ doin just fine irrespective of the fact dat i do av ma lonely moments.The society @ large is not helping matters with the marriage craze as well.Anyway i believe one should just follow ur heart but meanwhile take ur brain along with ў☺ΰ .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree with ypu,I also have my lonely moments,but I always tell people who ask me wen am gettin married!to point me to where men are sold so I can buy one and marry him.

      Delete
    2. Lol, came across ur blog on Linda ikeji's page. I totally luv ur blog as u talk abt real life situations. Am gonna b 29 dis year n single,it's sooooo annoying wen pple ask me wen am getting married. Ders dis aunty dat is an amebo in my estate,she asked me wen I was getting married,since al my childhood estate friends wr married,my response to her was to bring her husband to me,so il marry him,Nonesense.

      Delete
  2. Dats the mentality we have in Nigeria and situations of loneliness.......divagist.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi onyi, caught a link of your blog via Linda ikeji, love the way you write and present your own side of the stories, the marriage issue is a century long issue that cannot be totally erased, but people especially our family are getting more in tune with the modern age, where young women do not have to get married to feel complete, personally have my baby and I am completely satisfied, just saying

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like to look at finding the right life partner like marketing a product or service. One of the key issues before you sell your product is to package the product. Before you can do this you have to identify your target market (profile your life partner). Once you've profiled your life partner then you can begin to package your self to meet the requirements of your profiled life partner.

    Someone I know who was looking for a her life partner and who worked as a teacher and who only met married or divorced men which were not part of her profile finished work each day went hope,dressed up in a business suit and went into the financial district and sat at a cafe reading the business paper.
    In two months she met her life partner and was married a year and a half later.

    Three key things:

    1.She profiled her life partner.

    2.She packaged herself so her profiled life partner will be attracted to her.

    3. She made her self available where the chances of meeting her profiled life partner were very high.

    If you want to get hit by a bus you have to walk off a side street on to the highway.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Been SINGLE is a blessing.been MARIED is a blesin too.if single and have reach d marriage stage,don't worry GOD wil make ur own mariage d BEST of all.Most importantly,asked ur self am my ready for mariage now?.I mean as a woman u hold d home firm or shater ur home.are u domestical,caring,lovely and above all have LOVE for things of GOD bc d man dat maried u wil not b dat lovely and caring man u see in him b4 he maried u.it is ur duties 2 make him dat lovely man u know b4.tolernt,b patient,calm an don't cpmplain 2 people much.Always talk 2 GOD in prayer and listen as he talks back.People u complain 2 majority will add 2 ur problem

    ReplyDelete

please drop a comment and let me know what you think.