Thursday, May 31, 2012

My Weight And I! 2

Continued from 1...

Then I began to fast seriously, and yes I did manage to shed a few pounds, but as usual I piled it back on immediately I finished the fast. I think God knew I was doing it for the wrong reason and he decided to punish me. Then I registered for dance lessons which seemed to work for a while, until my body got used to it and adjusted itself to my routine, then my treacherous body stopped losing weight. Let’s not even talk about all d time I spent in the toilet throwing up everything I ate.
In a final and desperate attempt, I usually willed myself to fall ill so I could lose a few pounds. Crazy right? Well I dint think so back. I still remember when I had malaria and typhoid and I lost so much weight that people barely even recognized me, I was insanely happy. I was on cloud nine! The sad thing is that I piled it all back on in less than a week. How you may ask? Well, remember my creation story? I left out one part. He used a very fertile soil to create me-loamy soil. So anytime I am depleted, well the soil does its job and back I go!
These are just some of the stuffs I did to lose weight, but something struck me ,in all the while that I lost all that tremendous weight, I seemed to lose my essence, I wasn’t me any longer, people began to ask if I was ill or something was wrong with me. This led me to realize something, we are all created in the image and likeness of God, and we are all beautiful and unique in our own way without trying to change who we are to please the world. Now when I think of d foolish things I did just to lose weight, I shake my head at all the time wasted. Who decides what we should look like? The society? Do we have to pander to the whims and dictates of the society? The answer is a resounding NO! I make the most of who I am now, I have built my self confidence to an unshakeable level and I realized that was the major thing missing in my life. I realized that immediately I stopped trying to change who I was, I felt good about myself. I exercise as much as I can, I have toned the fat in me to muscles and even though am not a size six, I am a happy and contented size ten (its 12 sha, but let’s leave it at ten) I know I might never be a model (sad face) and I’ve made my peace with that. I take good care of myself and always look the best I can. It doesn’t bother me anymore when people refer to me as that fat girl, because I know there’s more to me than that.

Now don’t get it twisted o, I am not saying one should stop taking care of themselves, am just saying there should be a limit to how hard you try. Stay as healthy as u can and work on your self confidence and you will be surprised at how well and healthy you begin to feel. If you are one of those people who judges a book by its cover (which I am also guilty of) then stop and try to see something else in them beyond their weight.
Lastly, in case you are looking for, or know someone who is looking for a fat and extremely beautiful model, you know where to find one! #winks#