Sunday, April 29, 2012

How long is too long?

How long is too long
I’ve been wanting to write about this for a while because it’s just been stuck in my head, it wasn’t until a friend of mine said something about it that I decided to put pen to paper.

How long should people date or be together before they sign the dotted lines? In the course of discussion with this friend of mine, I asked about her long time boyfriend, and she said they were taking a break, why? You might ask, she has been with him for the past eleven years, and he’s yet to show any sign of putting hearth to home, yes you heard me right,11 years, and I ask myself, why should anybody wait that long for anybody? If after five yrs of being together, your spouse has not decided what he/she wants out of the relationship, well, it’s goodbye I guess.

I asked a couple of people and I found out that many women hold on in vain, with the hope that one day, he’ll pop the million dollar question. A couple  of women said that after being with their spouses through thick and thin, they were given the silliest excuse in the books like, “my mother thinks you are too tall,” or  “we are not compatible” or “you are too fat”, the funniest I heard was “you are half-cast”, and we don’t marry half-cast in my family, the most common was “we don’t marry from a different tribe”.

Seriously? After 5 or 6 yrs together you just realized she was too slim, or too fat, or too dark, or that she couldn’t she couldn’t cook? Did you not know from the onset know that your family wouldn’t accept women from other tribes or religion? Or that it was forbidden to marry a half cast?

The guys I spoke with mostly said the same thing, if after 5-6 yrs he doesn’t know where the relationship is headed; 8years isn’t going to make any difference to him.

Some people might say that with love, the wait is always worth the while, but let’s assume I’m 28 years old, and I meet a guy who after 6years still isn’t ready to settle down, should I continue to wait for him in the name of love?

So my question today is this, how long should one wait or date before he packs his bags and leaves? How long is too long?