Monday, June 3, 2013

Memoirs of a Frustrated Girlfriend 2


I decided to try out fiction writing awhile ago and trust me, it ain’t an easy feat!  I wrote the first episode of Memoirs of a Frustrated Girlfriend, and got too busy to write a sequel, well here it is.  Enjoy.

I still remember how kole and I met like it was yesterday. Itohan had just managed to secure two last minute tickets to the opening of the newest club in town, I was even scared to ask her how she managed that, considering the fact that a ticket cost 20k and I could swear on my life that she did not even have up to 5k in her account, and secondly, it was such a high class event that the likes of us had
no hope of getting in.

Come o IT, how were you able to get hold of two tickets to the most exclusive launch in Lagos?’

And in that Edo accent of hers she says

“ woo omo ibo, you dey go abi you wan stand there dey ask me Jamb question? We dey comot by 9 o, so better wear something hot and sexy’

And with that she prances back to her room to begin the arduous task of picking a dress to wear. I already had a mental image of what I was going to wear so I followed her to her room and pressured her into telling me how she go those tickets.  Finally she tells me that one of her numerous “toasters” was in charge of sales of the tickets so she was able to get two, although she refused to tell me what she had to sacrifice to get not one, but two tickets; she’s such a good friend!

Its 9pm and I am ready, because I know IT is such a stickler for time, she comes into my room and looks at me as if I had gone mad

‘wetin you wear like this?’

‘Ehe…what’s wrong with my outfit?’

I look at myself in confusion; I am wearing my best outfit of a blue jean, a black short sleeved turtle neck top and my high-heeled sandals.

‘Na night vigil you dey go?  How can you wear this to attend one of the biggest events you will ever attend in your life? ARE YOU MAD?’

‘Aha IT, why all the shouting nah, I really think I make a rather fetching image.’

‘Fetching ko, carrying ni! Do you not see what I have on?’
She twirls around for me to see; she’s wearing a dangerously short dress without any sleeves whatsoever, a waist belt and 6-inch high platforms.  

‘IT you know I am not comfortable wearing these kind of dresses’

‘See this girl o, Who thinks of comfort in a club? Follow me jare and let me see what I can do with you.’

Its 12midnight, the club has been launched and everyone seemed to be having a good time.  I am standing in a corner of the club desperately trying to cover my body with the little piece of fabric IT made me wear.  I realize that I would have stood out like a sore thumb if I had worn my jeans, but I still wish I had.  I couldn’t even sit for fear of not having enough cloth to cover my tushy if I did.  Itohan was having the time of her life, and I kinder envied her.

‘No matter how hard you pull that thing down, it still won’t be long enough to cover whatever you are trying to cover.’

I turn around to see who it was, and he was one of the most handsome men I had ever seen in my life, he was tall and chocolate coloured, with a heart melting baritone voice and the sexiest smile ever… ok  I am exaggerating a little, but if this were a movie or one of those mushy novels, it would be so true.  He was of average height, light skinned and just moderately handsome, nothing breath-taking. Although he did have one of the best smiles I had ever seen with dimpled cheeks, the dimple was definitely a major hit with me - I am a sucker for dimples.
Oops, in my musings I have taken a one way, that’s a major offence in Lagos right now; na me and LASTMA today! Everyone is looking at me like I am crazy, I managed to turn around and continue my journey.
So back to my thoughts, He asked me why I was wearing a dress I was so obviously uncomfortable in and laughed when I told him why. Although he offered me his jacket, he teased me mercilessly and did not leave my side throughout the night… and like they say, ‘the rest was history.’
That history is about to come to its peak tonight, God knows I have waited long enough!