Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Falling In Love Too Fast...

I got a marriage proposal today, which I believe is what a lot of ladies look forward to, feverishly and fervently praying for in short, and living for. 

I turned it down, not because he was not rich or handsome enough, but because he couldn’t even answer one of the most basic questions I asked him; how old am I?  Moreover, he went on about how age is just a number and doesn’t really count, which I don’t dispute, but I think it’s still a number that one should still know.

Yes, I turned him down because he did not know my age and surname!  Silly you might think abi?  But it’s really not, sadly, these days, a lot of people get married without knowing something as mundane as their partner’s middle name, little wonder why marriages are crashing left, right and center.

So Sam (not real name) proposed to me one week after we met because he thought I was extremely beautiful – which I am BTW – and that I looked good in my choir robe – I am a chorister – but is that enough reason to get married?

Unfortunately, that’s all some people need to get married, forget compatibility, forget blood types and groups, forget love or any sought of reasoning at all!

I remember a wedding I attended, the groom was asked why he married his wife and he said “I married her because she is beautiful” when prompted further, he began to stammer and could not give any other reason why he married her, can you believe that?

After having known me for just a week and speaking for just 15 minutes, Sam was already head-over-heels in love with me, not because of my wonderful attitude or my kind nature or my undeniable sense of humour, but because of my enchanting beauty!

Therefore, I asked him what will happen to our marriage if I had an accident that left me crippled for life or disfigured this perfect face of mine would you still love me then. 

What His answer?  “God forbid bad thing” and when I insisted, he said “let’s hope it never happens”… just the answer every girl wants to hear!

Okay let’s assume we get married and he realizes he detests my attitude and sleeping habits, maybe I am not as submissive as he would want his wife to be, and maybe I am not as beautiful as I look without the help of makeup and spandex, what happens then?

A lot of people ‘fall in love’ and get married too fast because of one physical attribute they find in someone else, and in most cases it leads to an unfortunate and unhappy marriage when reality sets in.
Marriage is a lifelong covenant that should not be taken lightly or gotten into on a whim; there should be adequate preparations.  if we can go to the university and spend 4-6 years studying and preparing for a course, why can’t we give marriage preparations a little more time and energy that it so deserves?

Marriage is beyond just a physical thing, get to know your partner, find out if there’s more to him or her beyond the physical, instead of jumping into it based on your infatuations and lust, why not take a little more time to build that infatuation into an unshakeable love.

I know there is so much pressure on single women to get married in our society, but a little longer to pray about it before you say yes!