Sunday, December 4, 2011

secrets


SECRET (ONE)

My friend’s relationship of 3yrs just ended because she told her boy friend the truth.
Yes! the truth. The same truth that “shall set you free.” Ironically, it did indeed set her free. We’ll call her Irene for the purpose of this write up. Irene and Tony had been dating for three years, they were the perfect couple, made indeed for each other, and nothing, I mean nothing could tear could tear them apart … or so we thought.
As the relationship progressed and Irene felt they were headed for the alter, she decided to come clean and tell Tony about the skeletons in her closet, so they don’t fall out and ruin her relationship later.
She sought for advice, and I told her to follow her heart, she knew her man better, although, I thought he could handle the truth. Some men can handle the truth; while some would rather you not tell them the truth.
And so bearing this in mind, she told him the truth - and nothing but the truth, so help her God – about her past life. That was the end of the relationship, it came crashing down like a pack of cards, Tony could not handle the truth, and so he called it off. He said he was better off not knowing about her past life and he wished she hadn’t told him about it. He just couldn’t handle the truth.
Chioma and Bello have been married  for 5yrs, and they were very happy until he was accused of theft in his work place. He went home feeling really bitter, and expected to find an ally in his wife. Instead, the opposite was the case. He found out that his wife actually believed he might have had a hand in it. He was broken. Co-incidentally, he had been involved in two other cases of fraud in his office, and his wife never really seemed to support him 100%, even though it had eventually been proved that he had no hand in it.
As he thought about it, it occurred to him that since the day he told Chioma about his past life, he lost her trust. She never seemed to trust him again, she did go on to marry him and still professes love to him, but she never trusted him again. That day, he regretted ever telling him the truth.
It got me thinking, everyone says there should be no secret in a relationship, but they can’t handle the truth. Something always changes when we tell our secrets to our spouses, something negative always happens. The relationship might not end, but there is a shift that inadvertently rocks the relationship, and most times leads to a break-up.
So my question is this, isn’t it better to just start afresh? Keep your secrets to yourself? Leave your past in the past? And pray nothing ever happens to revive it.