Help Me

God, I want to thank you for my jobs because so many people in this our beloved country are jobless, and it’s a privilege to be amongst the working class citizens.  That said, I will get straight to today’s gist.

This is officially a cry for help.  I NEED A NEW JOB!  Before anyone begins to crucify me for not being grateful for the one I already have, I really am and I thank God daily for it.  But I am so tired of teaching right now.  My job is boring and unimaginative, extremely stressful, the environment isn’t work friendly and on top of that, I am grossly underpaid.  To tell you how bad it is, corps members receive better take-home pay at the end of the month than I do.  Now you see what I mean by “underpaid” abi?  How they expect me to keep looking beautiful and taking care of my sexy self with that pocket change is beyond me.

I know some people will ask what I’ve been doing towards getting a new job, but I can assure you that my CV is everywhere within and beyond the shores of Nigeria.  I’ve applied online, in person and by courier, but the jobs are not coming.  Maybe it’s because I don’t know anyone in those places.

So here’s a description of my dream job: a job where I get to sit in an air conditioned office and sip coffee - no I don’t like coffee, make that tea - all day; get served free lunch in my private office, resume by 9am and close for work by 4pm; not too stressful preferably paper work, so I can have time to play solitaire on my new laptop and most importantly; a huge salary.  It’s a lovely job, right?

Anyway, I am just kidding (no, am snot).  I really need a new job, something worthwhile.  I am really hardworking and a fast learner; I need a job that would give me a boost to in life, a spring-board to achieving my life’s dreams.  I am a graduate of English education from the University of Jos, Nigeria. Therefore, with my qualification, I can fit in anywhere, places like embassies, oil companies, even Fashola’s office, anywhere really.

So there, I said it, and I will be expecting great responses o. Please don’t let me down.  I am keeping my fingers crossed!